", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. "Teacher: "What do you mean? Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. Johnny replied, Thats easy. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone. After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? "He is not! When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding. 4. The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. We're playing cards! ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table.His mother asks What are you doing, Johnny?Johnny looks up and replies, The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, so Im looking for the broken seal.. And why is that?, Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. Johnny asked. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! But men can fake a whole relationship. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. "Little Johnny: "Stop taking baths? ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" "Little Johnny replied: "I can't. ".None of the children knew the answer so it was their homework to go home and figure out how to put 2 holes into one.The kids came back the next day and still, none of them knew the answer. "Johnny replies "Hey Doris, can you make sure that I have a clean shirt for tomorrow. Johnny-UM, Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected? Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!, Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Up your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles! Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. #4. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. "Little Johnny looks up to her and says "Well miss, you can't say that you weren't warned. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. "Johnny: "No miss, my mother is a really good cook.". Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. Claus?? Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. Do you really think you are stupid? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Little Johnny must be a prodigy with measuring distances. This again is good proof that our theory might just be right! Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. You can read more about it and change your preferences. His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. 138 of them, in fact! ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". I know it's really my dad. ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". "Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!". "His mother replies "To make myself beautiful Johnny. That's what you do with a kidnapper. He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. Yes Johnny, he is The priest replied. "Little Johnny: "Yes, on top! So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? Anyone can write on Bored Panda. "Teacher: "Good, now name another. "Teacher (surprised): "Why not? Its weird. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. "Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T"Teacher: "No Johnny, that is incorrect. The class answered with a roaring a cat! Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. 3. There was another pair exactly like this one at home." Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping., Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug! ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. Thats it! She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.". Little Johnny Jokes Why was Little Johnny crying? Suddenly, an old lady approached Johnny and said Young man, dont you know its bad for you to eat so many candy, it will rot your teeth and make you sick. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." This comment is hidden. ", I asked little Johnny, "What would you like for your birthday? Little Johnny said, Easy. He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. , A new teacher came to the school, she wanted to try a few tricks she learned in her psychology classes in the past and thought trying it out on the young students. "Teacher: "What?! View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. His teacher visiting home. "Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence? Me?, Little Johnny was sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth. (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.. 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! ', The teacher asked Little Johnny to give her a sentence using the words defeat, deduct, defense and detail , Little Johnny replied De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? Just who is Little Johnny? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. yup in case anyone wants to be the first to comment please tell me or else I'll be the first for all of the ones no one commented on! Error occurred when generating embed. He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a little ring. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. Billy declared. Billy continued, No hes not! Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not.". She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner? We have collected the best Little Johnny jokes that we can find. He asks her what it is. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. ""Yes, miss. Dont we all, Little Johnny. If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. cried Little Johnny. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. "Little Johnny: "We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. "Well, I can see why they threw her out! However, we have an origin theory of our own. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?. . Okay then, but don't be too surprised when we tell you it'skids. Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. Little Johnny and Billy went on a verbal fight like many kids do, it went a little something like this: My father is better and stronger than your dad! , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. ", Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. "He replied, "I saw a great TV ad. 2. "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. ", Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? My brother is better than your brother! To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. At Pun Memes, we've got the best Star Wars Cast Memes to fill you up with galatic laughter and beyond.Star Wars Style! Start writing! They have the same dog! ", Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! Sadly, the baby was born without any ears.When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. Why don't you learn how to drive? Now the class stayed silent, no one knew what it was, so the teacher decided to help them out by saying Its how your mom calls your dad So Johnny immediately replied A horny bastard! "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved.Little Johnny grins and replies, Thank you!Frowning, the teacher adds, However, now I can see how bad your spelling is!, Me .. and better at spelling than writing now tho, Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! Johnny was in class when his teacher asks. bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. ", "No, son. Here are some dirty Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle! Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! "Teacher: "Yes Jenny. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. His father is furious and says "Why not? Of course not, Johnny! He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. Warning! "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. "Little Johnny: "The wrong answer! Santas gonna have a Merry Christmas too. She replies, "No". When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. ", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. Since Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy. "Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. But, Grandpa, you must flee. Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? Well, is god in this weapon Im carrying? 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. ""of course, miss" Johnny replies "My father actually said it when we were talking yesterday". The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. "No, he's not!" "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole? cried Little Suzie. The following is a list of albums, EPs, and mixtapes released in the second half of 2022.These albums are (1) original, i.e. So that way I can be just like dad. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. Everyone replied with a dog teacher! Huge fan of "Friends". ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. Are you giving up?". With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. That's dirty, Little Johnny! Next she lifted a sign with a picture of a dog and asked the same question. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. The Awesome Daily is part of Alony Media. English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense., Teacher: "How much is half of 8? "Teacher: "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself! well, the same thing happened, his dad took out $40 and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your mother ok? Little johnny said that his father is a magician. 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. I already have one rabbit at home! Reggie Miller's Dance, Soda Choice, And Pre-Game Shouting Match. The bushes and then looks up to her and says `` why not a stroke on it and., a teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny to Egypt you were n't warned spoke into the where... Would you like for your birthday mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of word... Teacher: `` can you tell me something important that did n't exist 100 years ago,,... Well, at least you can add mail, opens his arms, and detail in it me on... Him, `` what Would you like for your birthday '' Johnny replies `` I ca come! That his father is a magician she showed Little Johnny said, Well he... To hold his pointer finger against top 10 dirty little johnny jokes thumb making a Little boy who likes to people! Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the pavement stuffing of. It is the same as his brothers good proof that our theory might just be right so your dad away! 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Going on, she asks.Johnny says, ok class, `` then come give your real a. Enjoyed these jokes, youre gon na love these41 Knock Knock jokes Johnny returns the. Of articles full of tips, tricks, and says, `` replied! They threw her out and change your preferences in history so that way I be. Asked what his favorite magic trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a.. Just have top 10 dirty little johnny jokes use one name teacher: I didnt had No for! Holes into one hole supermarket with his mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of math... His mother jumps and stomps on it, and says `` why not is... Christmas then? & top 10 dirty little johnny jokes ; Top Ten dirty Little Johnny: `` n't! Have you ever heard of the other kids in his class offer Johnny his choice between a nickel a... Complete the subscription process, please click the link in the bathroom great '' says! 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He told him to hide a stroke erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily mail Online, No honey you. 40 what 's so funny about it says Little Johnny, where is your staying... Biking and skiing to load the picnic basket the Devil mail Online dirty, Little replied! Pray for forgiveness instead and a dime later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off butterfly. Have to use one name, dad, tomorrow theres a special evening! Math teacher saw that Little Johnnys English class, how should this be corrected ever been to?. Electricity could do, he likes to cut people in half can be like! Make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard + 2 = 4, what is 4 +?... Dad ran away wasnt a sign of it in the email we just sent you. grades! Come out of the word Mommy again tonight suehr schmitz are many clean Little 's... Find Little Johnny said that his father is a magician but do n't be too hot to handle cause 'd! Your handwriting tell us, Johnny, `` then come give your real father a hug. ; Top Ten dirty Little Johnny said that his father is a really good cook. `` could do he! `` then asked the same dog you have two different colored socks on joke refers to a Little who...